I woke up in the middle of the night restless, I went to the computer to work, but I couldn’t get anything done. What do I need to find my groove again!, I was exhasperated, and in a moment of desperation thought that I needed to find flow in a new project in order to regain confidence in my coding abilities. I begun a new project, and while searching for images I could use I came across one that struck me as myself at the moment:
But soon tiredness overcame me and I went to bed.
I woke up depressed, I felt hopeless, and my desperation bout gave way to a profound tiredness. I half heartedly ate breakfast and sat at the computer. Again, couldn’t get anything done. I need to find where to head with this project, but I need to do it with a clear head, and so I went to bed again.
I had some uplifting dreams which I do not remember, I’ve observed this before in moments like this, there seems to be a compensatory effect from the subconscious when the ego gives up. If dreams exclusively echoed our waking state we’d drive ourselves to madness, for the echo would grow louder and louder until we’d be unable to listen to anything else.
I woke up knowing how to proceed without much reasoning: there’s two different products: one mobile and one desktop. I’ve been trying to produce both from the same codebase, but this is impossible. I must finish one and then tackle the next. I chose mobile first, not that it makes much difference, but at this moment mobile is closer to being finished.
Then I understood I’m trying to get into high gear from standstill. I’ll begin by doing something enjoyable I thought, and whatever little progress I can accomplish is good. And so I begun tweaking bits here and there, and soon enough I was deeply absorbed again. I throughly enjoyed my session, and though my mood isn’t quite there yet, I’m now distanced enough to see that it’s simply foul weather that I need to let pass through. Today I identify with this guy: