It’s going good, the days are on repeat: wake up, have breakfast, go to the library, work until I am hungry, have lunch, take a nap, go back to the library and work until tired. I feel emotionally numb, autistic-like, and yesterday I attended a social event where I noticed my mind unable to unlatch from coding.

This comes at a temporary personal cost, I’ve developed a case of seborrheic dermatitis on my scalp, which usually comes under stress. But I don’t feel stressed, just stiff in the mind, the body, and the soul. Throughout my career I’ve interacted with a variety of developers, and some identify with this way of being.

Others, however, have the quality of remaining social, soulful and flexible when they’re not working. But put a code editor in front of them and they become systematic, analytic, and rigid. This is the highest virtue: being like water, taking the shape of the container.

After this sprint it will take me some time to unthaw. But I’m glad to understand what is going on.