Last night I slept around 12 hours. As I expected, my mood recovered, but I went out of bed quite late. I took my time, got in touch with old friends via email, prepared brunch + extra for later, showered, yada yada. At 3pm I hit the library.

I was deeply concentrated and I advanced a lot, though I noticed something: I don't use git because my method is haphazard. I don't work by features, instead I sketch possible paths in code, and if they turn out promising, then I detail them. However, today I lost an hour pursuing an exotic interaction. When I was done I saw it wouldn't work, so I rolled back my changes by hand, which took me an hour. "Ah! This is what solo git is for!" I thought.

Today I repeated the experiment of working without internet, and again I was able to focus deeply. After two hours it was necessary to consult the documentation and I sidetracked on hacker news whatsoever. I notice that information "pushed" on me (via a news site or aggregator) becomes a mish mash of information in my head. I recall one or two things by this time of the night. On the other hand, a couple of days ago I followed a rabbit hole regarding the atomic era, and that information is still fresh in my mind. Just now I blocked my news fix from my hostsfile to observe if this makes attention flow in the direction of curiosity.

While working I would take breaks by bringing up my gaze and staring into nothingness, feeling my breath. The inner sensations were cycling in intensity, like waves pulling back and then breaking. There seems to be more to inner perception than thoughts and feelings, if you are able to quiet both it is not emptiness what remains, it is inner movement.

Eventually I grew hungry, and today I wanted to hit the gym, so I went back home to finish eating what remained of brunch and I walked to the gym. My workout was uneventful and my mood didn't change, but I was almost glad because this means I won't be hungover tomorrow (if the pattern holds up).

I observe that I put a lot of attention towards my inner state, but in times of turbulence it is necessary. When stability is regained I will be able to put my attention elsewhere.