Today I saw the feature complete product, and felt temptation towards forgoing the walk. It’s close to being finished, just one last push and it will be done. But I was reminded of a quote of the Tao Te Ching:
People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning; Then there will be no failure.
My eczema has spread, and I must have enough cortisol in my body to stress out a small nation. In any important endeavor, there is always some amount of wreckage done. The wreckage must be managed.
As I was walking back from the library I thought: what would make me feel I’ve been successful in this endeavor?. There is financial success, of course (which is very much needed) but beyond this I’d be satisfied with a modest popularity that opens doors to unknown things in the future.
Failure would be that it’s met with indifference. Would I feel disappointed? I asked myself, and surprisingly the answer that arose was no, the only alternative to this period would have been idleness, and that would have even more taxing on my wellbeing. We can only find our way through trial and error, and any miscalculation is a lesson, however hard to swallow it may be.
I decided that I would walk with one change of clothes in the direction of Santiago. My intention is to walk until exhaustion, there’s plenty of bus stops along the way to come back, and two hostels if I decide I need to stay an extra day. Fortunately there’s nothing to resolve mentally, it’s simply a reset to come back to do things with patience and love.