From 2019-12-17 log: stream of thought
I am writin thios with the screen turned off and in utter darkness. I had a moment of self-consciousness and felt ridiulous describing the scene. The crickets are chirmping. IO am high, and it is fine, because a lot of inspiration has come through in the last hours. \On the camino I met and authetic shaman seeker. This was a young man who had spent many years wandering the amazonian jungle. Her affirmed that these plantas maestras, or can be interpreted as teacher-plant or master=plant. The meaning in Spanish is in-beteween. I sensed a magentic personality… nevermind the story. It ios irrelevant. He said: “María is a very potent teacher, the proem is that people do not tiake it seriously. They forget all they resolved and it is amnesia, waking up to resolve the same problem every day”. His quote rung a bell: indeed. The realizations are important. It is important to be able to look into everuy crevice for the mind for old belifeefls, to scrape them off, . What do I belive that …. Thios is done in intimacy. As soon as you ralize that there is someone reading, you cannot be completely honest with yourself.
Is this not true? Oh this schozophrenic voice that changes subjects all the time, a russian rullette. Where will we land next? William James? Nah, boring. The stream of thought. Oh how wonderful it was to write when I had no electricity. Is this not proff that I am asleeep? I realize things in flesh, yet I hive no continuatikon to it. I am asleep, just like everybody elese. And IO somethime think I’m more awake, but I am asleeep. I am asleep because much of what I do kis mechanical. But it is OK. I do have my life together, and I know to be in the right path in the macro and micro level. Only through elndless sel-compassion and the uttermost patience tdie I come to water this barren garden. Montaigne writes that hwne one has too much time, plants of all sppecies come up, as ai an abandoned lot tropical. The exoticism. Oh dear, see there? tThe ego, showing off it’s knowledge. YUes
Momento of presence: dogs barking, crickets chirping. Breathe in, breathe -out.
Allow us to feel the ego. We lay here in awareness. I have a black screen and I’m tyiping. I can almost swear that I saw a bat fly. I am wondering if this is the ego being distractful or if I should really investigate. The reader will side with the ego: eys, go siee if it was really a bat! Bu8t the correct thign to do is to continue to write one’s stream of thought. Allow us to do that. The ego is a coward and will use any distraction possible so that you so not find it. It is elusive, because it does not want to be discover3ed. To truly nitocie it is to say: loo, at this person whom I pretend to be. Jung called it a mask. But a mask is the outermost shell of the ego: the person pretends to be, I willl speka about myself: If I s-poke professionally to you as a designer, that is your mask.
The person who you believe your are, that is your ego. Here is a simple thought experiment: Describe yourself in an essay, then summarize as much as you can without losing your identity. Do not use your name. [prompt for the course]. I turned up the screen light to order my thoughts because I thought it was worth registering correctly.
I see I’m at 3 percent battery, publish now!