I had a pleasant, productive day. I went to a favorite library of mine and enjoyed the shared focus from students there. I put most of my time towards administrative/organizational tasks, which I generally feel distaste about, but this time it was pleasant. I observe that I’m addicted to the sense of flow that comes from deep concentration while programming, and my sense of distaste is simply a contrast between light and deep focus. However, when I don’t achieve focus while programming I often feel frustration. I should simply switch the task to something more akin to my state.
After the library went to a Buddhist meditation event. As I killed some minutes outside I tried to sense what I expected about it, and I noticed I was expecting disappointment. I took notice of the forecast, then went to the meditation, and I’m glad to report my intuition was wrong. I enjoyed it.
At the end of the session we had a shorter metta mediation (loving kindness). The facilitator gave instructions to think about someone who had annoyed us in the past few days to wish happiness, security and love to that person. I couldn’t recall someone who had annoyed me (except myself, of course), and later on, in the subway, I recollected the past few weeks to try to find that person.
Then it came to me: some days ago I went to a study hall, and a woman with a huge ass 19 inch HP Dragon laptop annoyed the hell out of me mainly because she had bad taste. It was a horrible computer and the fans made a lot of noise. But it was mostly about bad taste. I was surprised at my own reaction, labelling it as juvenile and snob.
So, in the subway I wished for her health, her happiness and her wellness. And I could not help but to wish for the improvement of her taste too. I noticed that my own juvenile and snobbish labels for myself faded with this task. Ah, so that’s how it works! I thought, by balancing the equation we perform spiritual algebra.